Current batt · Today
23%
Technically present. Emotionally elsewhere.
It's not you.
It's your batt.
SADbatt is the battery meter for your social life. Log how drained you are. Get a readout. Share the results with people who get it.
001 // What this is
Not a journal. Not a wellness app. Not a self-improvement tool. Just a little screen that says "12%" and lets you send it to a friend.
002 // The spectrum
Every level has a comedic identity. The joke works at 3%, at 50%, and at 100%.
0–10 %
Critical
"Currently out of service. Please try again Monday."
11–30 %
Low
"Technically present. Emotionally elsewhere."
31–60 %
Medium
"Available for exactly one social obligation. Make it count."
61–85 %
Good
"Doing okay. Please do not push it."
86–100 %
Full
"This is unprecedented. Screenshot for evidence."
003 // The receipt
004 // Acquire the app
iOS app launching soon. Get the readout before anyone else.
We'll email you exactly once, with the App Store link, when it's ready. No newsletter. No marketing. No wellness tips. We are literally an app called SADbatt.
Get the App Store link
Single email. When it's live. That's the entire offer.
Data stored. No spam. No follow-up.
005 // Fine print
Q · Is this a real app?
Technically, yes. Launching on iOS. Android later, when our batt recovers.
Q · Is it free?
Yes. A SADbatt+ tier is coming later for people who want extra; the core readout will always be free.
Q · What happens at 0%?
Something unprofessional. Drag the slider to find out.
Q · Who is this for?
Anyone who has typed "sorry, running late" when the real problem was small talk.